On Free Time and Rest Days

It has come to one of those days when I whine about my adulthood and complain that I no longer have free time. This is also the time that it is mandatory to have a wake-up call of reality.

Contemplating on this dilemma, I looked back on what I used to do over the years when I did have my free time. Did I do productive things? Not really. Most of them involved lying in bed and watching video after video on Youtube. And repeating the same video again when I felt like recalling them. Last year’s vacation was fun for two weeks but the days that followed until its end was boring as always. Weekends tend to run the same every week, doing whatever for time-wasting leisure.

I reflected on why that is. Whenever I am busy, I always think of free time as a treasure that one looks forward to getting every week. But once I get there, I become overwhelmed with the feeling of “okay, what now?”

But… I wanted to do so many things! It’s my day, and I decide on the endless possibilities!

And THAT freedom is almost a prison in itself. Your day, your choice. And I find yourself disappointed, as your day became endless scrolling through Facebook.

Did you ever get that overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to do due to the vast choices? Do I clean my room? Do I go out with friends? Do I spend my mornings walking or my afternoons writing this post for a blog?

It’s about time to be reflective of this treasure to better accommodate my life’s free space.

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Hit that restart button, will you?

There is always this one instance where you kind of regret something you’ve done. Knocking over a glass of milk on the carpet, skipping breakfast then becoming extremely hungry by lunch, or even sometimes, larger events with larger consequences. There is always that nagging wish to return to what was been. At least for me, anyways. But of course, we have to face the horrible truth…

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Masks

The persona is a complicated system of relations between individual consciousness and society, fittingly enough a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and, on the other, to conceal the true nature of the individual.

“The Relations between the Ego and the Unconscious” (1928). In CW 7: Two Essays on Analytical Psychology. C.G. Jung, P.305

Even if we are not on a masquerade party, or in a Halloween costume, we wear them. More often than we think, even. Each person we face, everyday, is talking to an aspect of you that cannot be seen by others. We act differently with our family, our colleagues, workmates, classmates and friends. Each one a side of you that you don’t often see.

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